Rewriting the Laws of Attraction — KATIE’S MOM
by William J. Hammon, ActuallyPaid.com
One of the best subtle touches in Katie’s Mom (which debuted at the Dances with Films Festival and won an audience award) is that despite it being framed like a romantic comedy, very rarely is there any traditional idea of “romance.” In fact, the word “love” only comes up once in any significant, contextual manner that I can recall. This is much more a film about lust and raw sexuality, in that it’s a crucial acknowledgement of how attraction and desire evolve and present themselves over the course of our lives, which is what makes it so relatable, memorable, and downright hilarious.
Directed by Tyrrell Shaffner and co-written by Shaffner and Meryl Branch-McTiernan, the absolutely whip smart story focuses on Nancy (an electric Dina Meyer), a Pasadena divorcée preparing for a holiday visit from her adult children (a blended “Chrismanukah” celebration). After a stressful year that included her plastic surgeon ex-husband (Jason Wiles) quickly remarrying and impregnating his trophy wife (Shannon Dee), Nancy is in need of emotional comfort. Unfortunately, such relief is in short supply, as New York-based son Eli (Colin Bates) says he’s unable to come out due to work (though he does later surprise her with excellent comic timing), and daughter Katie (Julia Tolchin) is, shall we say, less than sensitive to her mother’s wants and needs, callously dismissing Nancy’s decorating and baking efforts, as well as trying to make every subject about her.
Compounding the issue is the fact that Katie has volunteered Nancy’s home as holiday lodging for her first serious boyfriend, Alex, played fantastically by Aaron Dominguez from Only Murders in the Building (the whole cast is strong, but Meyer and Dominguez are runaway MVPs). With Katie essentially blackmailing her by threatening to stay with her ex, Nancy acquiesces to having an uninvited guest in her house for the next month. Naturally, Katie takes full advantage of the situation, highlighted by very loud, enthusiastic sex directly over Nancy’s bedroom as she tries to sleep.
Suffice to say, Nancy could do with a win here, and she gets it from an unlikely source in Alex. Genuinely appreciative of her involuntary hospitality, Alex spends his free time getting to know Nancy, quickly becoming part of the family. However, as Chrismanukah draws near, the tension (and the comedy) ramps up significantly, culminating in a sudden consummation between the two when Nancy feels the most alone.
Everything that happens in this film centers around this inevitably, with the holiday countdown constituting all that is before, and the back half of the film being the fallout of the affair, and it’s handled absolutely beautifully. Playing like a Shakespearean farce, the script is a masterful progression of buildup, climax, and regret, not unlike sex itself. The dialogue is filled to the brim with clever insight, hysterical references (I about fell over in my seat as Nancy first fantasizes about Alex in a perfect homage to Fast Times at Ridgemont High), and new entries into my personal lexicon (“Hobosexual” is just brilliant).
But where this film truly rises above its peers is in its characterization. There is a delicate, empathetic care given to all those involved in this ribald tale, so that even when they’re at their worst, we can still appreciate their experience. Katie is egotistical and oblivious at times, but she’s surrounded by judgmental people and deals with deep-seated insecurities about her appearance, which informs her aggressive and possessive relationship. She can be a real “Catch U Next Tuesday” to her mom, but we are shown not only how she comes by that behavior, but also the real issues she deals with that can allow us to forgive and maybe even qualify it.
Similarly, Alex is sensual and attentive while also being an opportunistic lothario. Eli is caring and protective of his family, but is also quick to judgment and ungrateful at times. Even ex-husband Morty and new bride Evelyn, who are as close to one-dimensional assholes as the film offers, have a degree of nuance and understanding of the real world. In short, these are human beings.
And of course, Nancy shines brightest of them all. Inspired by Mrs. Robinson (who is so much an object of seduction and raw animal instinct that she’s not even given a first name in The Graduate), she becomes a living example of the double standard when it comes to age disparity in relationships. She can see all over social media how Morty parades his much younger second wife and gets nothing but praise for it, yet she’s pressured into dating someone her own age (a kind yet unexciting engineer played by Rib Hillis) and is shamed for even thinking she could be seen as desirable. Her frustration is palpable, but just like all the others, she’s no saint. She’s perfectly imperfect, and the film goes to great — and believable — lengths to show that the only thing “wrong” with her and Alex hooking up is the messed up set of circumstances surrounding it, not the act itself.
It’s fascinating how much the movie feels like a coming-of-age film for every major character, embracing them warts and all. Katie is learning hard truths about the rockiness of relationships. Alex is realizing his own sexual awakening. Eli has to learn to see his mom as a woman first and a parent second. Morty is making the most of a second chance, and Evelyn braces for the responsibilities of motherhood in a world where she already knows she’s had to settle. And most importantly, Nancy is given a taste of life after divorce, an acknowledgment of her own beauty and value as she enters the next major phase of her own life, and is given the freedom to make her own mistakes for once, rather than being a side consideration (or collateral damage) in other people’s errors.
Because relationships and sex are messy. They’re dirty, confusing, thrilling, life-affirming, devastating, and essential. More crucially, they’re full of hard questions but never any easy answers, if there are answers at all. That sense of recognition and eagerness to show the gorgeous ugliness of life’s pleasures, especially in an era where the dynamics (and arguably the mechanics) of sexuality are constantly evolving and reshaping themselves, is what makes Katie’s Mom not only a laugh-out-loud reflection of modern romance, but in its own odd way one of the most loving films you’re likely to see.
Originally published at https://behindtherabbitproductions.wordpress.com on July 8, 2023.
